A generational curse is defined as a habit or behavior passed down from one generation to the next. They are maintained at 3 levels: genetic, environmental, and supernatural. This could be mental or physical illnesses, addictions, or even poverty, to name a few. Our families have the biggest influence on our development, so seeing similar patterns amongst family members makes perfect sense. The best way to deal with these curses is to destroy them completely, but you have to start by understanding how it began.
I saw this post on the shade room that said apologize like your parents. As I started to think about it I couldn’t think of anything at all. I don’t think my parents have ever apologized to me about anything. That is one think I have definitely broken. I make sure I always apologize to my children. They are human and deserve apologies. I’m learning more and more about them, myself, parenting, and just life in general on a day to day basis. I am going to make mistakes, and that is okay.
I want my children to be able to talk to me and tell me anything. I want to create an open and safe space for them because that is something I never necessarily had growing up, which seems to be pretty common amongst the black household. We always had to stay in a child’s place, or not talk back. I want my kids to use their voices, feel their feelings, and not be afraid to tell mommy all about it. I want them to respect me and their personal boundaries as well.
Just the other day my oldest daughter let me know that something I said hurt her feelings. It really hurt me to know that I hurt her, but also gave me a chance to apologize for hurting her, and explain my actions as well. We talked, hugged it out and moved forward. Definitely a learning experience for the both of us and I love that. She even wrote me a little note afterwards:
I’m thinking of starting a small blog series of generational curses and traumas that are stopping with me and mine, so make sure to comment and let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in. I feel like nowadays any parents have dropped whoopings and adopted more of the gentle parenting route. What are some generational curses that you are breaking? There may be some that I haven’t even realized yet.
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